Paid by Cupcakes

Hi y'all! This post is coming to you from my dorm room at Michigan State after my first day of classes. Speaking of my dorm, should you like to see it?

 You know me, I would never have survived without my precious clothes. I didn't bring as much as I thought I would, because it all fits decently well. I must admit, though, I brought way more stuff than my roommate, so I feel overpacked and overstuffed into my half. But that's okay, right?

This is my wonderful little nook. Unfortunately, I don't get cell service very well under here, which I don't really understand. You wouldn't believe how many books and movies I stuffed into those shelves; I think I'm the only one who brought so many. I like that.

This is actually where I spend most of my time in my dorm. I have my computer here, and the chair is surprisingly comfortable. I'm overlooking the window, I have my fridge right next to me, and almost everything I need is within an arm's reach. All of those papers on my bulletin board (provided by the school--cool, right?!) are different school organizations, excluding the pictures, the paper lanterns, the ruler, and the coupon from Amazon. You can't really see it, but that clock is a science clock: all the numbers are replaced with scientific equivalents. Haha, I'm such a nerd. I didn't think I'd spend a lot of time here when I moved in on Sunday, but now I realize I probably will. Except for when I'm doing my physics homework all over our floor.

 This is about as "themey" as I got. I really like it, though. It's kind of homey, right? I don't spend as much time up here as I should, but it's more comfortable than I expected. The sign really does it, I think. Brings it all together.

 Dis my plant. I also have tulips, but they're looking a little sad, so I didn't want to embarrass them by catching them on...memory card? Can't blame them, though; they spent two days in a car. This little ivy is a piece of the one from my grandpa's funeral almost 10 years ago. I'm glad to have it; it's a piece of my history and my home, right in the window sill.

This is our exciting entryway. We've got a lamp, a fan, and some kleenexes. I like it here, the way it's a little sparse. It's hard to shove your whole life into a little room, but I think I did all right.

So, my first day: I had all four of my classes today, relatively close together and of course FAR AWAY. My first class, French, is 25 minutes from my dorm (which also has classrooms, as you'll see in a moment) and then I have to truck it back to my dorm for physics in a mere 20 minutes. It ain't happenin'. So, tomorrow I only have French and I'll try to find a shorter route. I think I found a sidewalk-only route across campus that'll do it; I just need to shave off 7 minutes in order to not be late and still get a semi-decent seat. I really hate sitting in the back.

After being late for physics and missing the very first graded assignment (could only be done in class through this thingy called an iClicker; google it), I had some lunch time. I did meet some nice girls from a different dorm. B-t-dubs, it's really hard to keep introducing yourself over and over again to people. I'm finally starting to remember my floormates' names and they're starting to get mine, so it's getting easier. I do love hearing "Hi, Madison!" in the hallways and on the street; makes you feel like a real person on this monster of a campus.

Lunch done, I had calc. Now, I took the AP calc test, and assumed I'd get the credit, so I took calc II over the summer, right? Well, I didn't get the credit, so now I have to take calc I all over again, and then next semester I move to calc III. I'm going to talk to an advisor tomorrow about skipping calc I entirely, but I'm not sure if that's possible; I hope so, though, because I don't want to waste $4,000 on a class I don't need. God, couldn't I just pay them in cupcakes? So much easier.

After calc, I had to book it to astronomy. I'm not sure how I feel about this class. I mean, I have to take it, there's no option as an astrophysics major, but it's... well, okay, it's gonna put me to sleep. The professor talks really slowly and has one of those voices that just goes in one ear and out the other. Thank Godric he puts the powerpoints online. Actually, today, he told us when all of our tests were, all of the homework questions were due, and where you could find his lectures online. I spent the whole class thinking, "Are you encouraging me to skip?" I really like the content, space nerd that I am, so I hope that'll help me through.

Well, those're my classes. Nothing exciting, but enough advanced stuff that I feel less silly about trying to get out in three years. Hopefully, I can make it happen. No job or research or clubs to be spoken of yet, but I'm working on all three of those. Soon, I hope.

Keep stirring, loves, and maybe someday soon I'll get around to microwaving up some mug cake.

Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookies

As you may have noticed, I love baking chocolate chip cookies. They were the first thing I ever baked, so I have a deep attachment to them. Also, these were a request.

This is my last food post for a while--don't get too excited, I've got a couple of good posts about other stuff coming up--and the next post will be mug cake. I'm a little excited to make mug cake, to be honest, because I'm not sure how it'll work out. Otherwise, any food you see will be Holmes Hall cafeteria food. And, frankly, MSU food is amazing.

Ingredients:
1 1/4 cups brown sugar
1 1/4 cups white sugar
1 1/2 cups butter, softened
2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
4 1/4 cups flour
1 to 2 bags chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 375. Combine the sugars and the butter in a large bowl on medium speed until soft and fluffy.

Add the eggs and the vanilla.

Beat in flour, baking soda, and salt at a low speed. This will take several minutes. I went very slowly, beginning at the edges to decrease the flour cloud above the bowl.

It's a very thick dough, and may need more flour depending on your taste. Since these are going in the mail, I added about 1/2 cup of additional flour to decrease the chances they'll get hard or squished.

Stir in the chocolate chips and rejoice at how yummy the dough looks. Eat more than you should. Then drop teaspoonfuls into a greased cookie sheet and bake for 8 to 10 minutes.

This recipe makes about 6 dozen, but I only got 5 because I couldn't stop eating the dough. I love floury cookie dough, but I don't like thick cookies. It's a little strange, I realize, but that's okay. I know other people will eat them.

So loves, we'll say goodbye temporarily and soon enough I shall return with deliciousness once more. Until then, be on the lookout for some slightly unusual posts. What can I say? I get the weirdest thoughts.

Keep stirring, loves!

To Infinity And Beyond

It's 1:30 in the morning, exactly one week out, and I just finished watching Toy Story 3. I've seen it before, of course, never watch new movies late at night, but there's something different this time. I knew it wouldn't be the easiest movie I've watched this summer, what with college around the corner. The thing is, though, it's not around the corner anymore. I've rounded the corner and I'm staring it straight in the face.

Growing up is never easy. We spend most of our childhoods wishing to be older, to be able to do more, and then we reach the age where we want to go back. I can say, there's a part of me wishing to turn around and be little like Bonnie again, completely enraptured and enthralled with my own imagination. I have a hundred thousand reasons to turn back the clock, but I think I've figured out how to grow up. For real, this time.

The difference between childhood and adulthood is a long, hazy period labeled as "adolescence" and as any teenager can tell you, it straight up sucks. It is by far the most emotionally and socially challenging time in someone's life because not only is one stuck going through puberty, but the adolescent brain is literally shaping into an adult brain. I read this book once (I don't remember what it was called; I'll find it and link to it), and it held an entire section about adolescence I found incredibly profound. At the time, I was maybe 16 reading it, and it changed things a bit for me. Not deeply, mind, but enough that I still remember it. For once, when I read something about adolescence written by a scholarly adult, I felt like they actually understood what it was like.

Now, looking three years back, there's much I understand I wish I could tell my younger self. More than I can honestly admit in a blog. But, not to go all cheesy on you, I wish there was one piece of wisdom someone had handed to me.

Growing up will be the hardest thing you ever do.

In this transition, which I have been assured at least a million times will be absolutely wonderful, many disturbing futuristic phenomena including, but not limited to: taxes, student loans, mortgages, keeping other beings alive, and maintaining a career bubble on the horizon. I have doubted my career choice at least a hundred times in the last four days and I can hardly wrap my mind around selecting and packing my books, let alone all of my stuff, and moving it to a location 10 hours away in a different state, in a different time zone, in a different climate.

Knowing all of that, I think I might be ready. Half an hour ago, I wasn't at all. I watched Andy displaying his toys for Bonnie, announcing each of them with love and care, and I cried. I blubbered and I pleaded with the cosmos, demanding more time. And when my eyes dried and I blew my nose, I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and knew.

For me, Toy Story 3 was my push. It is not the transition itself, but that final desperate cling to my childhood gave me the strength I need to go forward. I won't lie, I'm terrified. I have never been so far from home without my family, and I have never gone somewhere so alone. My heart skips a beat when I imagine my first day of classes. However, within that fear exists a hope and an excitement effervesces, creating the primordial soup for something grand.

I am still afraid. I am still anxious. I am still completely uncertain. These feelings haven't Disapparated or been Vanished into the woodwork. I am now, though, on stable ground. I will hold my own. Unfortunately, I might have grown up.

I will never stop being a nerd, though, no worries. I will wear my Gryffindor uniform on Halloween, carry my towel on Towel Day, dress up like Superman to see the movie next summer, and geek out every time a new Game of Thrones episode is uploaded to Project Free TV. Nerdiness has invaded my entire being and I wouldn't trade nerddom for anything in the world. 

I've labored over my worry about the reconciliation of being a nerd and growing up. I didn't believe the two could coexist, and it scared me because I've always been a nerd, but I've always been a little too grown up for my age. That's what growing up is for me: accepting they do complement each other and these concepts can easily coexist within me.

College is down the road now. It becomes clearer every day and next Sunday, it will be a reality. This last week, I've got a lot of work to do. And now I know I can do it.

Keep stirring, loves, and just keep swimming.

Raspberry Chocolate Fudge Cake

Today is my parents' 25th wedding anniversary and I wanted to give them something no one else could. Well, my brother and I gave them a gift card to Red Lobster, because my mom loves it, but that wasn't really what I wanted to give them. I didn't really know what to do. And then it hit me.

What do I do well that I love to do? BAKE!

So I made them a cake while they were at dinner. It couldn't be an average cake, you understand; 25 years deserves something better than a vanilla cake with fudge frosting.

This is an adaption of a cake from a Betty Crocker cookbook, and it really looks great.

Unfortunately, I had a bit of a cake failure. You'll see it in a picture shortly.

On another note, it's Something On Your Head Day, so I wore a hat today! I love hats, but my hair disagrees with me, so I wear them infrequently.

Ingredients:
1 box chocolate fudge cake mix
1 1/3 cups water
1 stick butter, softened
3 eggs
2 1/6 cups mini chocolate chips
3 cups heavy whipping cream
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 1/2 cups fresh raspberries
1/3 cup seedless raspberry preserves

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Beat the cake mix, water, butter, and eggs for about a minute.

Stir in 2/3 cup chocolate chips.

Divide between two cake pans (I used 9") as evenly as possible and bake for at least 30 minutes. I should have left one of them in for about two more minutes.

Yeah... The bigger one broke, completely ruining the awesomeness of the cake. It was supposed to be 4 layers, but since I had a big fail, it had to be 2. So, I will remake this and do it right, and in another recipe post someday, you will see a picture of the cake correctly. Look out for it!

While it was in the oven, I made some dinosaurs and ate them. Just so you know how I pass my time.

The cake has to cool for about an hour before you can play with it, so start mixing up the filling and the frosting. Mix 1 cup of the fresh raspberries and the preserves in one bowl and let it just hang out for a bit.

In a cold metal bowl (which helps the cream stiffen up faster), beat the cream and the powdered sugar for about 5 minutes, until soft peaks have formed. After taking out a cup and a half of the cream, put it in the fridge to stay cold until the hour is up. When you take it back out, beat it again, because the cream at the bottom will have unstiffened a bit.

Mix that cup and a half of the cream mixture and add it to the raspberry mixture. After combining it, also store in the fridge until the cake is cool.

If you were more talented than I was, your cake could look better than this. You would cut each round in half, creating four layers of cake instead of two and you would slather filling in between each of them, and the cover it with the whipped cream, topping with raspberries and putting chocolate chips around the sides and the base. If you failed, like I did, it would look something like this.

Whew, it was a bad day. Demonstrated by the mess that happened when I tried to clean the cream bowl. So, pretty much, I wish I could start today over again and do it better. It was the day where I bought the final things I need for college; that was hard. It's also difficult to understand that in a ten days, I will be incapable of posting more than mug cakes and microwaved-pasta until Thanksgiving.

I thought I was coping well with this whole leaving thing. Now I'm not so sure. But I have a rule, and that rule is to not end a post on a sad note. So!

Happy Something On Your Head Day! Keep stirring, loves!

Polka Dot Problems

I haven't made anything since the 6th, I'm sorry to say, but I realized something: I added "fashion" into the tagline of my title in order to alleviate any issues when I talked about what I was wearing when I cooked. However, I've never done that. What is the point of having the word fashion in my tagline if I don't talk about it?

I have to admit, I have a problem. A serious problem. You wouldn't know it was a problem until you looked at my closet. Lucky you, you're about to get a miniature tour of said closet.

Polka dots! I have 5 dresses, 2 shirts, 1 sweater, and 2 skirts technically considered polka dotted, and I'm a little worried the collect might be growing.

My polka dot wire headband. I truthfully don't treat this as a regular piece of my fashion repertoire, but as a "get my damn hair out of my face" cleaning utility. 

This is my sweater; it's in the mid-60s here today, so I wore a sweater. Also, I got a haircut. It was a cute outfit. (I wore this skirt with it: http://www.modcloth.com/shop/skirts/stylish-selection-skirt)

I even have a polka dot camera case! I'm a bit of a polka dot nut.

So, there's my polka dots; I have a lot of them. This doesn't include other shapes, fruits, irregular colors and sizes of dots, floral dots, or, you know, anything else in a repeated pattern that we lump into the category "polka dots". This is just my straight-up polka dot collection.

The issue is not that I have a lot of polka dots; it's that I want more of them. Is that a problem? I'm not really convinced it is, because I could be addicted to much stranger fashion trends.

Keep stirring, loves!

Mama's Chocolate Chip Cookies (Abridged)

Hiya; it's been a little crazy in my life the last few days and posting hasn't been at the forefront of my mind. Amidst goodbyes, cousins, getting college-ready, and finalizing paperwork, I did find time to do a little cooking. My cousin Stella and I made chocolate chip cookies Mama's way, although I did use less flour and completely disliked the result. Sigh, I guess Mama does know best after all.

These were for girl bonding time and (of course they have a second purpose) a tag-along to my boyfriend's going away party on Monday night. I was taught to never show up empty-handed if you can bring food. So, I brought food.

But before we get to the cookies, yesterday was my birthday! I turned a whopping 19 years old. Yeah, okay, I'm young, but at least I can cook, right? We had the cousins over for supper and my friend Claire joined the group. It was a little bit of a sad birthday though, as Dakota had left very early that morning. But c'est la vie, loves, and the show must go on!

I hadn't wanted a cake, or a party, or presents or anything. However, Mama insisted and sometimes, you just have to concede to your mama. It's nice and pretty, and stuff.

I saw this at a shop in Galena and thought it was so cute; my mama interpreted that as I wanted it, but didn't want to spend money on it. Geez, this woman really is on a roll this post, isn't she?

Sock-monkey elephant! I collect elephants, and this is the icing flower on the already-iced cupcake. I have (now) 15 elephant stuffed animals, a toy elephant, and an elephant lamp. So, you know, a decent amount, but nothing extraordinary yet. Isn't this little dude cute?

You can never have to many college t-shirts! Actually, I think that's a lie. I'm up to five now, and that seems like a lot. I must admit, though, I have this long sleeved one that I want more of because it's so comfy and I love curling up in it on rainy days. Okay, so I rescind that statement: you can never have to many comfy college t-shirts.

This, however, is starting to get too school-spirity for me. Anything beyond this blanket (in addition to the poster, car window sticker, and two key chains) will have crossed a line. But there was my loot; nothing happy-dance-worthy exciting, but not disappointing, especially when you consider that I wanted nothing for my birthday.

Here's those cousins of mine. The dress I'm wearing is new and fits me to a t; I'm totally in love with it. And I'm also wearing one of the necklaces from Dakota. It's technically a locket, but I have this condition where I'm really lazy, so there's nothing in it yet. The one in the front with the black t-shirt is Cooper, behind him is his sister Stella, and on the other side of Tony is Charles. (You can see their grandma, my Aunt Debbie, peeking out of the corner.)

Here's Claire. We've been friends since middle school and I currently think of her as my Nerdfighter friend, because she's the one who really introduced me to the whole sub-community that allows me to happy dance about weird shit. And I like it. A lot.

So that was my birthday! Yay birthdays. So cookies.

Ingredients:
2 sticks butter or margarine
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp baking soda
2 1/2 cups flour
1-12 oz. bag semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Melt the butter a little in the microwave (about 30 seconds) and pour into a large bowl. Add the eggs and the vanilla and then mix thoroughly.

Add the sugars and mix thoroughly again.

Add the baking soda and flour and then blend until completely combined.

Add the chocolate chips. We didn't have one bag of chocolate chips, but a few mostly empty ones, so there's different flavors and sizes in this mix. I kind of like it.

My handy helper Stella. Baking is always more fun when there's someone to help you. Or even if they don't help you and just stare at you creepishly; it's still better to have someone there with you than to work alone. (Shh, don't tell anyone I said that.)

Using your average teaspoon that you, you know, eat cereal and mashed potatoes with, drop spoonfuls of dough onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes.

If, like me, your first batch doesn't turn out so well, add more flour and they'll come out better. My mom has a rule, which I decided not to follow and then regretted, that you should use your rubber scraper or wooden spoon or whatever to lift up some dough, hold it over the bowl, and if it falls off, add more flour. If it doesn't, you're good and they won't get hard and crusty after cooling.

Well, that's how it goes. I called it an abridged recipe because the cookies didn't have enough flour, not because I left stuff out.

Keep stirring, loves!

Esther Day

Why, hello again. Sorry, no food today. Actually, there's no feminism or fashion, either. There's just a girl and a lot to say in honor of another girl.

Esther Earl is a Nerdfighteria hero, a girl who has inspired so much in the world. She died of cancer two years ago and there's so much in the Nerdfighting community I know she would be proud of now. I never met her, but how John Green talks about her, I know I would've liked her.

Esther Day is a day to celebrating love, in the Nerdfighting world, a day to acknowledge and admit that we love our friends and family because we don't say it enough. We take our friends and family for granted a lot and I know I do it, too. 

This is my family, my dad Mike, my mama Sherri, and my brother Tony. We're small and we aren't what you'd consider a "picture perfect" family, but I don't believe you could ever meet one of those. My mama is legally blind and my brother, poor kid, was born with a slew of complications. We have had our fair share of trials and sometimes, those trials make us frustrated with each other. In the end, they are my family and I love them. No matter what happens, these are the people you cannot insult or hurt because I will hunt you down and kill you.  

 This is Zoey, my best friend. We've been friends since 6th grade, a million years ago now. She moved at the beginning of the summer, so we haven't seen each other much; that's been harder than I thought it would be. Truthfully, we have no idea how we're still friends. When you look at our relationship on paper, we should hate each other, but we don't. There is no doubt we ride a roller coaster together, but we've gotten off the crazy train lately to ride the lazy river. This girl can count on me to seek revenge for the slights against her, and, bitch, she better have my back. (Warning: she and I may blog swap next week when we make good food.) I know I don't say it enough, and I hope you know it's because I don't know how to say it, not because I don't mean it, but I love you, sweetheart. Godric knows where I'll be without you.

Sheila and Emily (respectively) have been my academic buddies throughout middle school and high school. We took AP classes together, we studied together, we whined about homework loads together, and, most importantly, we cared about each other. These are two girls I wish I had become close with much sooner, and I had no idea how much I would miss them until these last few weeks, with college looming largely overhead. I do love them, and I completely under-appreciate them. I'm sorry for that; I'm trying to be better about that.

Who do you love that you don't think about telling? Esther Day is the perfect day to open up.

Esther Earl, Rest in Awesome.

Everyone else, DFTBA.

Cinnamon Rolls

These were not the yummiest. In fact, I will never make these again. Homemade cinnamon rolls do in fact need yeast to be amazing. But the point of a blog is to post the recipes you cook, even the ones that weren't good. This is a recipe I found on food.com with a different icing recipe. The icing was great; I'll definitely use that again.

Also, I apologize for the lack of pictures. As you can see at the end, my boyfriend had the camera while I was cooking. Silly boyfriends, pictures are for cooks.

Dough Ingredients:

2 cups flour
2 tbsp sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp butter, softened
3/4 cup milk

Mix together the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. Add the softened butter with your hands.

There's me. I was having a good hair day; I love those. Add in the milk (as I am here) and stir thoroughly. I used a rubber scraper for all of the mixing for this; I like pastries mixed by hand, I'm not sure why.

Flour the counter generously. Roll out the dough into a rectangle about 1/4 inch thick. It can just chill on the counter while you make the filling.

Filling Ingredients:

4 tbsp butter 

1 cup brown sugar 

3 tsp cinnamon 

The butter should be soft to create a loose mixture; combine all ingredients, adding more or using less to taste.

Cover the rectangle with the filling and then roll it up. Slice into as big of pieces as you want. I got 12 good sized rolls out of the deal.

Allow to cool mostly before putting icing on top.

Icing Ingredients:

2 cups powdered sugar 

1-3 tbsp half-and-half cream

1 tsp vanilla extract

 Mix together sugar and half-and-half; I used about 2 tablespoons. Add the vanilla and stir well. I just used a tablespoon for the icing. Allow to sit and thick a bit while the rolls cool and then give it a good stir before pouring on top.

 This is my brother, Tony. He's making ramen because I won't feed him. You really pity him, don't you?

This is me finally realizing my boyfriend had my camera. Him you might actually want to pity. That "what the hell" look is something he receives uncommonly often.

They look good, right? I hate that they were not good. Oh, well. C'est la vie, my dears.

You'll hear again from me about cooking next week; Saturday is another Keep It Real post. (I have some sweet pictures for that.) My boyfriend leaves for college on my birthday--great birthday present, right?--so my best friend is coming down to see me on the 8th and leaving the 10th to keep me company and celebrate my birthday a day late and see other people and other exciting things. But she and I are making imitation Panera mac and cheese and blueberry cheesecake cookies and other comforting foods. She really knows how to cheer me up, that girl.

Keep stirring, loves!